|
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Looking Back
I’m not sure what I was expecting when I signed up for this course, not a lot of thought went into the process, but once the class began I knew I was in over my head. I only signed up because I’m greedy and my employer recently agreed to an educational incentive program. I thought I’d knock out a few classes, finish my degree, no problem. There was also the benefit of my kids seeing me go back to school; being a good example and all. At the risk of sounding negative, I want to be sure that I give an honest account of my effort in this class. Having said that, I’m glad for the experience and feel I got something out of it. Writing has always been something I’ve admired in others but have never felt comfortable doing myself. This class has forced me, kicking and screaming, to sit down and put my thoughts in writing.
I’m a conservative, mid 40’s male who’s managed to attain a comfortable lifestyle against the odds. I grew up in a broken home and was raised by my father whose job kept him away for two and three days at a time. This type of lifestyle never allowed for consistency at home or accountability in school. I managed to squeak by with my diploma and went straight into the military, where I finally found some consistency. During those four years; I met up with my high school sweetheart, got married, and had the first of three daughters. Following the military was a series of jobs, and children, over three states; we finally landed in Washington in 1996 and have been here ever since. I’m a Captain with a local fire department and my wife teaches; our kids range in age from 20 to 9 years in age. I feel lucky to be where I am, but as I implied earlier I’m trying to improve my situation and this class is a stepping stone in achieving that goal.
The major themes of this class: identity, community, and tradition have challenged my thinking and have opened up my eyes in regards to people and their behavior. I’ve thought about identity before but not in any detail about how it’s developed. The Remix book did a good job of breaking the formation of identity down into: what we’re born with, how culture influences us, and how our personal choices shape us. I personally believe our cultural experiences play the biggest role in forming the personalities we carry into adulthood and wrote about it in my writer’s choice paper, Why Am I. The section on community was interesting and reaffirmed my thoughts on identity. The final section was on traditions. I enjoyed this section and posted a blog about the tradition of Thanksgiving titled, Food and Memories. This piece was my choice for my audience and awareness writing. My two other writings include: my critical analysis, which was a blog post about examining my wallet; and my re-write, which was a timed write of Lars and the Real Girl and dealt with being an outsider. The themes of this class have broadened my view of these areas in my life and I feel I have a more diversified, and accepting, approach to others.
This class is no different than any other area of my life; I got out of it what I put into it. I have no complaints and feel these four writings are a fair representation of my ability to write, and the effort I put forth in this class.
I’m a conservative, mid 40’s male who’s managed to attain a comfortable lifestyle against the odds. I grew up in a broken home and was raised by my father whose job kept him away for two and three days at a time. This type of lifestyle never allowed for consistency at home or accountability in school. I managed to squeak by with my diploma and went straight into the military, where I finally found some consistency. During those four years; I met up with my high school sweetheart, got married, and had the first of three daughters. Following the military was a series of jobs, and children, over three states; we finally landed in Washington in 1996 and have been here ever since. I’m a Captain with a local fire department and my wife teaches; our kids range in age from 20 to 9 years in age. I feel lucky to be where I am, but as I implied earlier I’m trying to improve my situation and this class is a stepping stone in achieving that goal.
The major themes of this class: identity, community, and tradition have challenged my thinking and have opened up my eyes in regards to people and their behavior. I’ve thought about identity before but not in any detail about how it’s developed. The Remix book did a good job of breaking the formation of identity down into: what we’re born with, how culture influences us, and how our personal choices shape us. I personally believe our cultural experiences play the biggest role in forming the personalities we carry into adulthood and wrote about it in my writer’s choice paper, Why Am I. The section on community was interesting and reaffirmed my thoughts on identity. The final section was on traditions. I enjoyed this section and posted a blog about the tradition of Thanksgiving titled, Food and Memories. This piece was my choice for my audience and awareness writing. My two other writings include: my critical analysis, which was a blog post about examining my wallet; and my re-write, which was a timed write of Lars and the Real Girl and dealt with being an outsider. The themes of this class have broadened my view of these areas in my life and I feel I have a more diversified, and accepting, approach to others.
This class is no different than any other area of my life; I got out of it what I put into it. I have no complaints and feel these four writings are a fair representation of my ability to write, and the effort I put forth in this class.
Analyze This
The assignment I chose to represent critical analysis is my blog post of, What’s in your wallet? The instructions were; to take out your wallet and examine its contents, and write a one page profile answering the following questions:
• Taken separately or together, how do the contents of your wallet construct an image of your identity?
• What assumptions might someone make about your personality, values, or identity based on what you carry?
• If all they had to go on is your wallet, what would people miss or be unable to know about you?
This assignment seemed like a good critical analysis choice because I started the blog with a listing of my wallet and its contents. And as I learned from this class an analysis is a step by step description of something, or how something is done. The following is an example of a brief analysis from my blog post.
“The wallet itself is a brown leather bi-fold, a little chewed up around the edges and I can see a faded Dockers' stamp on the inside. Inside it has four staggered pockets on the right to hold cards and on the left it has a removable flap with clear plastic for an ID. Behind the ID and card holders there are two long pockets (I think this is where all the money is supposed to go).”
This assignment appealed to me because I’ve always been a step-by-step, detailed person. The challenge for me was to put it in writing.
• Taken separately or together, how do the contents of your wallet construct an image of your identity?
• What assumptions might someone make about your personality, values, or identity based on what you carry?
• If all they had to go on is your wallet, what would people miss or be unable to know about you?
This assignment seemed like a good critical analysis choice because I started the blog with a listing of my wallet and its contents. And as I learned from this class an analysis is a step by step description of something, or how something is done. The following is an example of a brief analysis from my blog post.
“The wallet itself is a brown leather bi-fold, a little chewed up around the edges and I can see a faded Dockers' stamp on the inside. Inside it has four staggered pockets on the right to hold cards and on the left it has a removable flap with clear plastic for an ID. Behind the ID and card holders there are two long pockets (I think this is where all the money is supposed to go).”
This assignment appealed to me because I’ve always been a step-by-step, detailed person. The challenge for me was to put it in writing.
What's In Your Wallet?
Can you begin to identify me using only my wallet and its contents? The wallet itself is a brown leather bi-fold, a little chewed up around the edges and I can see a faded Dockers' stamp on the inside. Inside it has four staggered pockets on the right to hold cards and on the left it has a removable flap with clear plastic for an ID. Behind the ID and card holders there are two long pockets (I think this is where all the money is supposed to go). Now let’s move to the contents. In one of the long pockets there are eight $1 bills. The other has a receipt from Master Park Lot B, a receipt for Stinger Rays (burger place in Kahului Airport), an appointment card for massage therapy and another appointment card for a Chiropractor. In the four card pockets there is: 1 VISA Card, 1 American Express Card, 1 Regal Cinemas Crown Club Card, 1 Health Insurance Card, 1 Delta Dental Card, and proof of auto insurance. On the other side in the removable flap I have my Washington State DL, a City of Everett ID Card, a concealed carry permit, an IAFF Union Card, an EVAP certification and my EMT license. In my last pocket there are some various business cards, mine included.
In this writing I’ve analyzed the contents of my wallet. Other than the receipts from a recent vacation the contents seem to be only necessary items or, at least, frequently used items. I don’t know if you noticed it or not, but there aren’t even any pictures inside. Collectively, the contents of my wallet represent my identity pretty well. I am organized and efficient and use each tool for its specified purpose. My wallet only has the necessary items that need to be there; personal items such as pictures of my family hang on the wall at home or are on my desk at work. Some might get the impression from my wallet that I’m impersonal, or maybe don’t have a family. There would be no way they could know how important friends and family are to me.
In this writing I’ve analyzed the contents of my wallet. Other than the receipts from a recent vacation the contents seem to be only necessary items or, at least, frequently used items. I don’t know if you noticed it or not, but there aren’t even any pictures inside. Collectively, the contents of my wallet represent my identity pretty well. I am organized and efficient and use each tool for its specified purpose. My wallet only has the necessary items that need to be there; personal items such as pictures of my family hang on the wall at home or are on my desk at work. Some might get the impression from my wallet that I’m impersonal, or maybe don’t have a family. There would be no way they could know how important friends and family are to me.
Do Over
The assignment that could benefit most from rewrite is my first timed write of, Lars and the Real Girl. The assignment was clear and stated, “develop a thesis-driven discussion that demonstrates how the film defines what it is to be an outsider (using one or two characters from the film you chose and discussed) AND how this definition upholds or challenges your own cultural understanding of what it means to be an outsider.” The instructions also noted this wasn’t to be a summary of the movie, which is exactly what I managed to do. Before I knew it, I had ended up with a summary and had run out of time, I concluded my paper with, “The conclusion is, I summarized the story and then ran out of time.” My score suggests that it wasn’t as funny as I thought. To be fair to the assignment I treated the re-write as a timed write also.
In or Out
(Original)
Even though our differences can separate us from society and makes us feel alone, with some perspective, they can also show us how we're alike and bring us together. The film "Lars and the Real Girl" does a good job of showing that when a person feels like they're different, they can act different enough to become an outsider. The opposite is also true. With a change in perspective, a person can change their behavior and have complete acceptance.
Lars feels, and acts, different than everyone else in his life and he doesn't seem to fit in. In the beginning of the movie he watches, from inside his room, as Karen approaches his door. Karen is his sister-in-law. He steps back into the shadows as she approaches so she won't see him. She knocks on the door and he delays, momentarily, before answering. It's all very awkward and uncomfortable. She proceeds to invite him to breakfast and he awkwardly, but politely turns her down. She persists until he lies and tells her he'll come after church but never does. There are several other examples of how shy and uncomfortable Lars is in his interactions. We find out later in the movie that Lars's mother died in childbirth and he is raised by his overly depressed father. Not helping matters is the fact that Gus, Lars's older brother, leaves home as soon as possible leaving Lars and his father all alone. This background leaves us with the impression that Lars's introverted identity makes him feel different even though there is nothing physically wrong with him.
In a desperate attempt to fit in, Lars chooses a friend that he feels comfortable with. The only problem is, she's not a real person, she is a sex doll. In this relationship Lars acts as if "Bianca" is a real human being. When he introduces her to Gus and Karen he is no longer shy and sullen, he has a smile on his face and is speaking confidently. He isn't just more confident with Bianca, he's more confident in all his interactions. He's acting normal in his relationships but it's not normal because one of the relationships is with a doll. But the relationship with the doll is allowing Lars to feel confident in the other areas of his life. It's a little confusing but these normal relationships (interactions) that he's having are allowing him to realize what "normal" is for the first time in his life.
Lars begins to see that he's like everyone else. It first occurs when he takes Bianca to a birthday party. They approach the front door and he hesitates, he feels like an outsider. He does ring the bell and once inside he can feel the stares. Margo offers to take their coats and seems to break the ice. During the rest of the party Lars is accepted by coworkers and friends, the final proving ground. It's at this party we get a glimpse of some normal behavior from Lars. He looks jealous of Margo's interaction with a guy. The differences are now becoming similarities.
The conclusion is, I summarized the story and then ran out of time.
(Re-write)
The film, Lars and the Real Girl, does a good job of showing that when a person feels like they're different, they can act different enough to become an outsider. The opposite is also true. With a change in perspective, a person can change their behavior and have complete acceptance. Even though our differences can separate us from society and makes us feel alone, with some perspective, they can also show us how we're alike and bring us together.
Being an outsider can be a two way street. One way is when people choose to separate themselves from others by the way they act. The other way is when people reject us because we’re different even when we want to belong. This movie showed examples of both. In the beginning, Lars is introverted but accepted, he’s only an outsider by his own choice. A good example of this is the scene where his sister-in-law invites him to breakfast and Lars refuses for no apparent reason. It’s only later, when he carries on a relationship with a doll that others start to treat him as an outside. An example of this was at the Christmas party where people were talking behind his back.
The film defined being an outsider as someone who is different enough to warrant special consideration whether or not they were accepted or rejected by the group. Even though the community accepts Lars and his issues he’s still different enough to be considered an outsider. The doctor in the movie accepts Lars to his face for his well being but talks about him behind his back (in regards to his treatment) with his family members.
Lars and the Real Girl does a great job of showing the different sides of being an outsider. This movie affirms the idea that the label of “outsider” can be self imposed or forced upon an individual and can also be removed by either.
Even though our differences can separate us from society and makes us feel alone, with some perspective, they can also show us how we're alike and bring us together. The film "Lars and the Real Girl" does a good job of showing that when a person feels like they're different, they can act different enough to become an outsider. The opposite is also true. With a change in perspective, a person can change their behavior and have complete acceptance.
Lars feels, and acts, different than everyone else in his life and he doesn't seem to fit in. In the beginning of the movie he watches, from inside his room, as Karen approaches his door. Karen is his sister-in-law. He steps back into the shadows as she approaches so she won't see him. She knocks on the door and he delays, momentarily, before answering. It's all very awkward and uncomfortable. She proceeds to invite him to breakfast and he awkwardly, but politely turns her down. She persists until he lies and tells her he'll come after church but never does. There are several other examples of how shy and uncomfortable Lars is in his interactions. We find out later in the movie that Lars's mother died in childbirth and he is raised by his overly depressed father. Not helping matters is the fact that Gus, Lars's older brother, leaves home as soon as possible leaving Lars and his father all alone. This background leaves us with the impression that Lars's introverted identity makes him feel different even though there is nothing physically wrong with him.
In a desperate attempt to fit in, Lars chooses a friend that he feels comfortable with. The only problem is, she's not a real person, she is a sex doll. In this relationship Lars acts as if "Bianca" is a real human being. When he introduces her to Gus and Karen he is no longer shy and sullen, he has a smile on his face and is speaking confidently. He isn't just more confident with Bianca, he's more confident in all his interactions. He's acting normal in his relationships but it's not normal because one of the relationships is with a doll. But the relationship with the doll is allowing Lars to feel confident in the other areas of his life. It's a little confusing but these normal relationships (interactions) that he's having are allowing him to realize what "normal" is for the first time in his life.
Lars begins to see that he's like everyone else. It first occurs when he takes Bianca to a birthday party. They approach the front door and he hesitates, he feels like an outsider. He does ring the bell and once inside he can feel the stares. Margo offers to take their coats and seems to break the ice. During the rest of the party Lars is accepted by coworkers and friends, the final proving ground. It's at this party we get a glimpse of some normal behavior from Lars. He looks jealous of Margo's interaction with a guy. The differences are now becoming similarities.
The conclusion is, I summarized the story and then ran out of time.
(Re-write)
The film, Lars and the Real Girl, does a good job of showing that when a person feels like they're different, they can act different enough to become an outsider. The opposite is also true. With a change in perspective, a person can change their behavior and have complete acceptance. Even though our differences can separate us from society and makes us feel alone, with some perspective, they can also show us how we're alike and bring us together.
Being an outsider can be a two way street. One way is when people choose to separate themselves from others by the way they act. The other way is when people reject us because we’re different even when we want to belong. This movie showed examples of both. In the beginning, Lars is introverted but accepted, he’s only an outsider by his own choice. A good example of this is the scene where his sister-in-law invites him to breakfast and Lars refuses for no apparent reason. It’s only later, when he carries on a relationship with a doll that others start to treat him as an outside. An example of this was at the Christmas party where people were talking behind his back.
The film defined being an outsider as someone who is different enough to warrant special consideration whether or not they were accepted or rejected by the group. Even though the community accepts Lars and his issues he’s still different enough to be considered an outsider. The doctor in the movie accepts Lars to his face for his well being but talks about him behind his back (in regards to his treatment) with his family members.
Lars and the Real Girl does a great job of showing the different sides of being an outsider. This movie affirms the idea that the label of “outsider” can be self imposed or forced upon an individual and can also be removed by either.
Remember
I chose this blog post on food and tradition for my awareness of audience and voice piece. The instructions for this assignment were to: Write about how food is connected to a specific tradition for your family or your culture. The first thing that came to mind was Thanksgiving. Being a blog post it was intended for an audience and Thanksgiving is such a popular tradition that I thought a lot of people could relate to it. In this post I refer to my understanding of Thanksgiving as a tradition and what it means to me. This part of the post sums it up best, “Over the years I’ve seen a number of different combinations, when it came to foods on the table and routines during dinner, but the consistencies have always been; food, family, and being grateful. The message I took away and hopefully passed on to my children was; share a big meal with those you love, and focus on the good things in life.”
Food and Memories
The only thing that comes to mind when discussing traditions and food is Thanksgiving. The general perception is we’re eating a symbolic meal and being thankful. The roots of the tradition come from the Settlers and the Native Americans coming together and sharing food, or a meal. I’ll admit I’m a little fuzzy on the details but I believe the Indians were sharing with the Settlers who were having a hard time providing for themselves. This might be where being thankful came into the mix.
The tradition of Thanksgiving includes having a big meal; the specifics of the holiday and the exact foods that are represented seem less important. Each family has modified the tradition to suit their needs. I’m not even sure turkey was the main dish at the original meeting but they’ve been paying the price ever since.
My parents were separated when I was very young and our extended families all lived far enough away to make holiday’s isolated events for me. I would end up with one of my parents and occasionally we would make the drive to one of our relative’s house. Over the years I’ve seen a number of different combinations when it came to foods on the table and routines during dinner but the consistencies have always been; food, family, and being grateful. The message I took away and hopefully passed on to my children was; share a big meal with those you love, and focus on the good things in life.
I now live in Washington with my wife and three daughters. Our next closest family is in California. We are pretty much and island with the occasional visitor, and now we have our own “traditions.” It starts when we make the shopping list and the trip to the grocery store. My wife does the majority of the cooking, always a big turkey and stuffing, and I do the mashed potatoes and fruit salad. There’s a lot more but it seems to magically appear when it’s time to eat. My girls love pumpkin pie and we usually end up with two as our left-overs are a part of the tradition too. They used to make their own but Costco’s pumpkin pies are too good and have been added as the newest member to our traditional dinner.
We put all the food on the table, say grace, and take turns talking about what we’re thankful for. Sometimes it seems a little forced but we do it anyway; an attempt on my part to keep that part of the tradition alive. I hope my kids will continue that part of the tradition with their families. At the end of the day I often wonder if it’s worth it; the effort and expense in having the big meal. And then I reflect on past Thanksgivings and realize it’s the memories that are important, and the act of eating is just the process that brings us together.
The tradition of Thanksgiving includes having a big meal; the specifics of the holiday and the exact foods that are represented seem less important. Each family has modified the tradition to suit their needs. I’m not even sure turkey was the main dish at the original meeting but they’ve been paying the price ever since.
My parents were separated when I was very young and our extended families all lived far enough away to make holiday’s isolated events for me. I would end up with one of my parents and occasionally we would make the drive to one of our relative’s house. Over the years I’ve seen a number of different combinations when it came to foods on the table and routines during dinner but the consistencies have always been; food, family, and being grateful. The message I took away and hopefully passed on to my children was; share a big meal with those you love, and focus on the good things in life.
I now live in Washington with my wife and three daughters. Our next closest family is in California. We are pretty much and island with the occasional visitor, and now we have our own “traditions.” It starts when we make the shopping list and the trip to the grocery store. My wife does the majority of the cooking, always a big turkey and stuffing, and I do the mashed potatoes and fruit salad. There’s a lot more but it seems to magically appear when it’s time to eat. My girls love pumpkin pie and we usually end up with two as our left-overs are a part of the tradition too. They used to make their own but Costco’s pumpkin pies are too good and have been added as the newest member to our traditional dinner.
We put all the food on the table, say grace, and take turns talking about what we’re thankful for. Sometimes it seems a little forced but we do it anyway; an attempt on my part to keep that part of the tradition alive. I hope my kids will continue that part of the tradition with their families. At the end of the day I often wonder if it’s worth it; the effort and expense in having the big meal. And then I reflect on past Thanksgivings and realize it’s the memories that are important, and the act of eating is just the process that brings us together.
Beginners Luck
For my writer's choice piece I chose my first paper which was on identities. The assignment directed the student to chose one of three options and then write their paper, my choice was to come to some conclusion about the relationship between identity and culture. This really was my first paper. I’ve managed not to write anything other than letters since high school, and I can’t really remember writing anything then. When I was reading through my papers and trying to decide which writing it was going to be I was surprised at how much I liked this one. I know I should have been getting progressively better as the quarter went on but this paper is evidence that this isn’t the case. Maybe it was just beginners luck. What I liked most about this paper was how clearly I conveyed my message from beginning to end. No excerpt will relate this to you; you’re just going to have to read it from start to finish.
Why Am I
No one can deny that what we’re born with is part of our identity. Our gender, skin color and our heritage are all part of who we become. But our cultural experiences, during our childhood, have the greatest influence in forming our lifelong identities. With maturity comes the realization that we can make choices to change who we are and how others perceive us. These choices allow us to modify our behavior and personality, therefore modifying our identity. Even though we have a personal choice in how we negotiate our identities, cultural experiences play the major role in forming our core identity.
Culture encompasses the shared ideas, beliefs, practices, traditions, and values of a group and how they connect us together. These areas not only connect us but they define the group as well. The commonness in each group is where we come up with the concept of what “normal” is. When we start talking about cultural experiences we are describing how we interact with these groups and to what effect the dynamics of these interactions have on us. My experience with the fire service provides an example of this. For the most part, firefighters tend to be males with type “A” personalities. Some of the attributes are seen in Table 1-1 in the essay, Alpha Male Syndrome (229). Dominant, confident, aggressive, competitive, determined and having a strong appetite for change are all “Alpha” attributes. People with these attributes are attracted to the fire service because the work will challenge them and they’ll fit in with the group. Once they identify with the group and go through the rigors of being accepted, the group gives them a new identity, brother. The identity that the public gives them as a result of being a part of this group is hero, either way it’s a new identity.
As we develop, there comes a point in life where we become aware of where we fit into the big picture. The age I’m referring to is different for all of us but it’s close to 10 years old and takes us through our high school years. We start to compare ourselves with others and begin to associate with the things we like and avoid those we don’t. These cultural experiences are those interactions in life that point out how we are similar or different and unique, comparatively speaking. The differences that contrast the most with the norm, or that impact us negatively, have the biggest effect on us. When a person fits into a group it’s usually no big deal, it’s taken for granted. Take that same person and reject them from a group and they’ll start to wonder what’s wrong with them and why they don’t fit in. Teenagers are notorious for doing this. We see an example of this in the essay, Masks. In the story, Lucy Grealy is in the 6th grade and is trick-or-treating on Halloween. She is out with friends and feeling more confident than usual because she is wearing a mask, which hides her disfigured face, and at one point remembers thinking, “I hadn’t realized just how meek I’d become, how self conscious I was about my face until now that it was obscured” (67). She identifies herself as meek and self conscious. These identifiers are the result of her negative experiences with her classmates when they made fun of her for being different. She even takes it a step further when she identifies herself as unlovable, “And besides, I thought to myself, the world of love wanted nothing to do with me” (69). And again describing herself as ugly, “….I definitely identified the source of my unhappiness as being ugly” (70). These identifiers were all the result of a young girl and her experiences of being rejected by her culture.
With maturity we realize a large part of our identity is only a reaction to the survival of growing up, and it’s at this point we can start making personal choices to steer our identity in the direction we want it to go. Examples of this might look like: plastic surgery to modify our looks, moving to a different community to better fit in, raising our socio-economic status, or getting an advanced degree. It could be as simple as deciding to change a part of your personality you don’t like. We see this in Gloria Anzaldua’s, How to Tame a Wild Tongue, where she writes, “I will no longer be made to feel ashamed of existing” (82). Here she decides she will no longer be ashamed of her language based on what other people think, and it’s a decision to change her identity. Whatever the personal choice, it’s a conscious decision to improve, or change, the identity you already have.
In closing it’s important to note that what we’re born with, our cultural experiences and our personal choices all have an impact on our identities. The things that we’re born with are with us forever and usually can’t be changed. Our cultural experiences play a major role when growing up and identify where we fit in. And personal choices allow us to negotiate the identities we form, and give us the freedom to change.
Culture encompasses the shared ideas, beliefs, practices, traditions, and values of a group and how they connect us together. These areas not only connect us but they define the group as well. The commonness in each group is where we come up with the concept of what “normal” is. When we start talking about cultural experiences we are describing how we interact with these groups and to what effect the dynamics of these interactions have on us. My experience with the fire service provides an example of this. For the most part, firefighters tend to be males with type “A” personalities. Some of the attributes are seen in Table 1-1 in the essay, Alpha Male Syndrome (229). Dominant, confident, aggressive, competitive, determined and having a strong appetite for change are all “Alpha” attributes. People with these attributes are attracted to the fire service because the work will challenge them and they’ll fit in with the group. Once they identify with the group and go through the rigors of being accepted, the group gives them a new identity, brother. The identity that the public gives them as a result of being a part of this group is hero, either way it’s a new identity.
As we develop, there comes a point in life where we become aware of where we fit into the big picture. The age I’m referring to is different for all of us but it’s close to 10 years old and takes us through our high school years. We start to compare ourselves with others and begin to associate with the things we like and avoid those we don’t. These cultural experiences are those interactions in life that point out how we are similar or different and unique, comparatively speaking. The differences that contrast the most with the norm, or that impact us negatively, have the biggest effect on us. When a person fits into a group it’s usually no big deal, it’s taken for granted. Take that same person and reject them from a group and they’ll start to wonder what’s wrong with them and why they don’t fit in. Teenagers are notorious for doing this. We see an example of this in the essay, Masks. In the story, Lucy Grealy is in the 6th grade and is trick-or-treating on Halloween. She is out with friends and feeling more confident than usual because she is wearing a mask, which hides her disfigured face, and at one point remembers thinking, “I hadn’t realized just how meek I’d become, how self conscious I was about my face until now that it was obscured” (67). She identifies herself as meek and self conscious. These identifiers are the result of her negative experiences with her classmates when they made fun of her for being different. She even takes it a step further when she identifies herself as unlovable, “And besides, I thought to myself, the world of love wanted nothing to do with me” (69). And again describing herself as ugly, “….I definitely identified the source of my unhappiness as being ugly” (70). These identifiers were all the result of a young girl and her experiences of being rejected by her culture.
With maturity we realize a large part of our identity is only a reaction to the survival of growing up, and it’s at this point we can start making personal choices to steer our identity in the direction we want it to go. Examples of this might look like: plastic surgery to modify our looks, moving to a different community to better fit in, raising our socio-economic status, or getting an advanced degree. It could be as simple as deciding to change a part of your personality you don’t like. We see this in Gloria Anzaldua’s, How to Tame a Wild Tongue, where she writes, “I will no longer be made to feel ashamed of existing” (82). Here she decides she will no longer be ashamed of her language based on what other people think, and it’s a decision to change her identity. Whatever the personal choice, it’s a conscious decision to improve, or change, the identity you already have.
In closing it’s important to note that what we’re born with, our cultural experiences and our personal choices all have an impact on our identities. The things that we’re born with are with us forever and usually can’t be changed. Our cultural experiences play a major role when growing up and identify where we fit in. And personal choices allow us to negotiate the identities we form, and give us the freedom to change.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)